Thrive with Michelle Winter

Internalised homophobia

At first glance an LGBTQ person may be living as openly as is safe to do so and appear self accepting, only to be battling a war inside. This is known as internalised homophobia/transphobia/biphobia. Where a person internally fails to embrace themselves in the fullest sense, as described above. They may loath themselves, find their behaviour and/or other people identifying the same way as disgusting and reject it. Their internalised homophobia/transphobia/biphobia may be so great that they don’t feel able to identify as LGBTQ at all. Obviously someone with this going on wont feel very good about themselves, so their self esteem will be very low.

When someone has low self-esteem they have little self-belief. Therefore, they will put weight in other peoples’ opinions rather than their own, which can mean presenting a façade to fit in with their peers. Every time the false-self is presented, our self esteem will continue to suffer. The further away from our authentic self our false-self is, the more effort required to maintain the act. Putting more weight in other people’s opinions is known as social anxiety.

How can The Thrive Programme help with this?

As I said above social anxiety is just the result of low self-esteem and a bunch of limiting beliefs you hold about you concerning other peoples’ views of you. The thing with limiting beliefs is that they are just beliefs!  Beliefs can be changed very easily. Thrive works by getting you to challenge all of your limiting beliefs and building a good, solid, internal self-esteem. By internal self-esteem we mean where you have faith in yourself and your achievements, so even if nobody compliments you, you still feel powerful and good about yourself. Thrive will teach you how to stop bullying yourself and comparing yourself to others, by accepting and processing your achievements. Once you feel powerful, in control and believe in yourself again, anxiety about other people and their views of you will no longer be created.